Well it had to be Keane didn’t it? Admittedly, it was a toss-up between themselves and Coldplay for the inaugural List of Enemies entry but, aside from the fact that one of them is called ‘Tim Rice-Oxley’ and the other one has a face like melted cheese (a fact that is being noticed by more and more people, I might add), the clincher for me was when I discovered this:
What's the point of ye?!
Keane named themselves after their FAVORITE TEACHER. That is the most absurdly un-rock’n'roll thing I have EVER heard. Favorite teacher indeed, as if we needed another reason to hate the snivelling little private school boys. Ugh. I have to say, back when Hopes & Fears was released, I still couldn’t stand to look at them but I at least had a certain level of admiration for their sans-guitar stance. Now that they’ve plugged in and gone all stadium rock on us though, I can sleep easy in the knowledge that they have absolutely no redeeming qualities.
Reinforced messages of disgust for Keane welcome. IN FACT, I would absolutely love to hear someone give me a good talking-down and tell me why Keane are their favorite band… I really would. Suggestions for no.2 on my list of enemies also welcome.
My Top Five Enemies that aren’t Keane.
1. Pussycat Dolls. the music industry’s answer to feminism
2. Coldplay, please take your billions of dollars and retire
3. Madonna, you are a talentless pop puppet and nothing more. and just because you don’t look completely decrepit for your age doesn’t mean you should flaunt that 50 year old body of yours.
4. Kings of Leon. If there’s one thing worse than a crap band its a band that promised to be great and then decided to sell out for generic stadium rock.
5. Weezer. Just stop while I still have a shred of respect left for you.
Hey I don’t know how to comment on the above post so I’m doing it on the one below this. I’m trying to not sound like a dick cause I’m not really upset but I just want to say, I know nothing about Keane, but Lynrd Skynrd is named after their favorite gym teacher so yeah, Lynrd is amazing, besides being racist but their music is great. And the post i’m leaving this comment on, don’t shred on bands like Weezer, if you’re gonna say crap about people talk about new mainstream rappers and the such.
Haha… My Top Five…. nice segeway Tom
Totally agree with you on the Kings of Leon thing. They went from being one of my favourite bands just another shite generic rock band in one foul swoop. I keep getting given out to for not being bothered about missing their O2 gig. I already saw them this year at Rock Werchter in Belgium (before that terrible album came out) and they were the business – as far as I’m concerned I saw them at their peak, playing material from the first three AMAZING albums. And now with all this in-fighting and talks of them cancelling their tour? I feel like a disappointed mother.
I liked Simon Amstel’s joke about them,
“Keanes album deals with a number of issues such as Iraq, the recession and the problem of being a thin man with a chubby toddlers head!!”
Coldplay? Who in heck are you kidding? Besides all the mental-patients who commented here? Every heard of VIVA LA VIVA physco?
Get a grip!!
“Self indulgent” REALLY?????? You need to give yourself a shake, it may help you!!
@ Ben & Playback…You’re obviously a Keane/Coldplay fan, fine you’re entitled to you’re opinion, just like I’m entitled to mine. Yep, I have heard Viva La Vida, I don’t rate it much… I don’t hate Coldpay (in fact I LOVE the song Shiver and some of the stuff from Parachutes) I just think they’re VERY middle-of-the-road compared to what’s out there if you open your eyes and ears. Keane were bearable up to a point and, as mentioned, I admired their Hopes and Fears album for it’s ability to achieve such a full sound sans-guitars…. but since then they’ve become complete sellouts and have joined the burgeoning market of mediocrity.
I always welcome criticism… but telling me to get a grip and calling me psycho isn’t really proving any kind of a point now, is it? Tell me something I’m overlooking about these bands that you find so thrilling and maybe I’ll give them a second listen. Other than that I really don’t know why you bothered commenting.
What are you talking about you idiot, you don’t know anything about Keane, it’s a great band and you’re a great asshole for writing things like this
Wow.
Why would you call out a person because of their NAME?
“aside from the fact that one of them is called ‘Tim Rice-Oxley”. So his name is Tim Rice-Oxley. Big whoop. Making fun of someone’s name is very grade three of you.
And commenting about how they LOOK? ‘the other one has a face like melted cheese (a fact that is being noticed by more and more people, I might add)’ Wow, that is so shallow to judge a person like that.
Also, so what if they named their band after a teacher? Really, what IS so bad about it? You’re just implying that it is LAME to do so-i really don’t see a justified reason as to why its so bad.
Anyways, I thought your complaint for Keane was about their music-and everyone is entitled to their own opinion naturally but going so far as to make fun of their names and faces is just immature.
Fee, Fee, Fee… howdy
You’re missing the point… I can’t stand Keane because their music is TERRIBLE. Some people just ride the wave of mediocrity, like Keane, but at least we don’t have to listen to most of them whittle on about their favourite teachers and addiction to sherry or whatever.
Can somebody, PLEASE, tell me why I’m supposed to be impressed by Keane, seeing as I think I’m doing a pretty good job of telling your good selves why I am so wholly UNIMPRESSED with them.
Thanks for your comments, do call back
Are you kidding?!?! Keane is the best band on the face of the earth!!! Reasons why:
1. Their sound is totally unique, no matter what anyone says.
2. Tom Chaplin is really talented–he has a very wide vocal range, he can play guitar, piano, and organs, and he does all of this and more onstage.
3. Tim Rice-Oxley is one of the best pianists I’ve ever heard.
4. Richard Hughes is more than amazing on the drums.
5. Their lyrics are more than the mindless babble you hear from other bands; they actually pertain to events and feelings in real life and they still manage to have great metaphorical value.
6. *converts into fangirl mode* They are all hot.
7. The whole thing about their namesake is to communicate their bond as lifelong friends, not to glorify a teacher. Tim and Tom have known each other practically since Tom’s birth.
8. They have more fans than it is possible to count.
9. They’re not bigheads. They realise how lucky they are, unlike a lot of other bands who just think they are a blessing to humankind and treat everyone but themselves like crap.
10. Last but not least, they actually have lives, so they don’t need to spend their time badmouthing people they know nothing about over the Internet. You’re a coward, whoever wrote this.
Wow…I love how most of you guys are ebashing the person who wrote this for stating his opinion…how pathetic it make you look and makes whatever argument you may have had for Keane being a great band irrelevant. I wouldn’t even taking you guys serious for being such babies about someone else’s opinion.
“You’re a coward, whoever wrote this.”
Come on…that is ridiculous, you may be a fan but man up! (not literally haha)
What.. you’re calling ME pathetic when this guy is saying that the reason he doesn’t like Keane is because of their name and their looks? I’m just stating MY opinion on how stupid I think that is!!! The only reason I was on here was because I was looking up pictures, and it just stunned me that someone could waste their time on a website telling people how much they hate something!!!
Who would have thought Keane would have provoked such aggression? Although I have to say, that really is ten things I didn’t know about Keane. I like number 8.
It is impossible to quantify Keane fans. Like storks, they never return to the same place twice and like storks they are generally white. Good stuff Jiminy, I like lists.
well i love keane and coldplay both but as you allready are talking about the worst bands then i would like to give my opinion
that’s why there’s a variety 
1. Rihanna- her songs are so boring and i think they’re all the same , i get bored of them on the second time i listen to them
2.pussycat dolls- allready mentioned, and the reason is the same as rihanna had.
The others aren’t so bad to listen.
And i love Keane because i love the piano in the songs. They are just so ..so.. GREAT . And the vocals too and the lyrics..ahhhhh.
And i think i have to say that people don’t have a similar taste of music, as any other things. not everybody has to like the same bands
Yes totally agree with that about Rihanna. How can she call herself an artist when she doesn’t write her own music, just kills what other people have composed? The backing music for Unfaithful is beautiful until she opens her mouth.
And what i love about Keane is that they do write their own music. Chaplin’s vocal range is incredible and he listens to the lyrics and sings them with real feeling. So, they come from affluent families. Well, i for one am glad of a refreshing break from sob stories and dodgy, tacky music produced by dodgy, tacky, charlatans. They are excellent role models.
Wow i sound like my grandmother… shockingly i’m 13 =P
I agree, Parachutes is a better album than Viva La Vida… It’s more rock and less pop.
I love these blogs. And i love the fact that people have different music tastes. It makes life more interesting. What i don’t like is when people make hate videos etc. If you don’t like a band, you don’t have to listen to them! Sheesh kebabs!
And another thing. So what if they name their band after a teacher?! It goes to back to the role model point. Better than naming it after something a random member of the audience yelled out in a gig like Fall Out Boy! And it shows they actually do care about more than sex and drugs, unlike some people i could mention.
They may not be the best looking band on the planet, but at least they can rely on their music to engender interest! When people like Rihanna wear skimpy outfits, it simply proves that they know their fans only like them for their looks.
What happened to aging gracefully? Madonna- PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! You’re rolling in it now, just retire before we all throw up. Think of your poor kids. Yuck.
Keane is no where near my enemies m8, neither is coldplay, yet if I had to choose of whom is closest to enemy Id have to say coldplay!
Srry m8, but you are quite childish, and it is very grade three of you to make fun of some ones name, or mock about what their face looks like, oh and also about the band name, who ever said it had to be rock n roll, thats absurd.
Grow up, get off your diapers!
fuck youuuu
KEANE IS AMAZING I MIGHT ADD SO YAP =D
I just got Keane’s album Perfect Symmetry three days ago, and I absolutely love the song Better Than This. Although you hate Keane, please just listen to this one song because in my opinion it’s just all around amazing.
LOL U post let laugh
it’s complicate 2 say why u like something or someone
u just feel that
4 sure they are the best band ever
let me try say that 2 u:
I like keane because when it sounds… like raind in a cold day
: *
opssssss
RAIN
Lynyrd Skynyrd is also named after a teacher. “a mocking tribute to a gym teacher at Robert E. Lee High School, Leonard Skinner, who was notorious for strictly enforcing the school’s policy against boys having long hair”[0]
[0] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynyrd_Skynyrd
Hello all
Just to clear a few things up…
1. Can everyone referring to me as ‘he’ or ‘mate (sorry ‘m8′)’, please examine why it is that you assumed I was a man? I am a ladeeee
2. I have no idea what ‘that is so grade three of you’ means. Although I am aware that it’s some reference to my childishness, please note that we are not all members of the No Child Left Behind ‘programme’: I am not from the US.
Right, now…
Anyone who posted such insightful comments as ‘fuck youuuu’, I have no interest in conversing with you.
To Lauren @ 21, thanks for your advice. I just listened to ‘Better Than This’ live on Jools Holland. Oh dear god. I appreciate your suggestion but you have reinforced my despair about the future of music. What is this pseudo-Bowie monstrosity?? If you’re a fan of that song (or even if you’re not), you’ll probably enjoy this:
Hey, I checked out the video, but I’m too young to really know who David Bowie is… Sorry. I like Keane still, but I like almost all music styles. I do enjoy Coldplay, but even I know that all there songs are just chords. They shouldn’t have won a grammy.
hi tom chaplin ilove yuor songs m encantan son bunisimas me preguntava qu s vas a vemr por bolivia si puedieras seria genial por que hay muchas persnas que t esperan bueno fe un gusto hablar con tigo chuu y sigue asi en number one you are
if both bands really sucked that much
do you think they would be where they are now?
if you’re so good a criticizing others,
why dont you go out there and give it a try
only when when you succeed will ppl gain some respect for you
cause right now, you just sound like a jerk who doesnt know how to do anything but criticize others, while their own life is a complete crap hole.
go give it a try
go get a life
your biggest fan
Love Flight of the Conchords, Coldplay, but most of all Keane.
I see no reason to hate Keane at all, or any band for that matter, other than Madonna, Stevie Nicks, Sarah McLaughlin, or the obvious really horrible bands.
So, just putting my two cents in for the heck of it. I love Keane, they’re my favorite band.
Also, insulting Keane by how they look is really pointless.
Look at Aerosmith and The Rolling Stones, they’re hugely enormously successful and they have two of the ugliest lead singers I’ve ever seen in a band.
…Just saying. Don’t bash me.
And wow, who’s too young to know who David Bowie is? Wow.
shut up you dog dick tom and the boys are class!!!
HOW DARE YOU!? KEANE!? AND COLDPLAY!? YOU SUCK!
Who knew world war 3 would take place over the net… however I can’t complain about the platform. Many a war has been fought over things just as stupid. Anyone seen troy?
Do you actually have any valid comment about why you don’t like Keane? Go ahead and criticise their music, their live performances, the headman’s voice, whatever it is related to what they do and are known and loved for – OK, do it, no one’s going to blame you, you have the right to have your opinion about it and don’t like it. Or are you just one of those people who base their accusations on the fact that they attended a private school, their looks, and their names?! That is not only pathetic, but also irrelevant…
And how their name is ‘not rock n’ rolish’? What does that even mean?
Yes, I’m a Keane fan, but I don’t blame people for not liking their music, but criticising the rest for no apparent reason?
agree about the madonna things……….hahahhah
You are an idiot. Ok, if you hate keane, I respect, because you’ve got the right. But say that Tom has a face like melted cheese, is fucking pathetic and show that you mother sucks so much and hasn’t given you education at all.
I admite with all my proud that Keane is my favourite band in the whole world. The lyrics are perfect, and they show how much Tim undertands people’s souls, minds, hopes and fears. But if you don’t, I do respect you, although that does not give you the right of offending the boys like you’ve done. You’re a perfect loser, congrats. (y)
Alrighty, I have one question, why is their music “bad”. I can understand that you personally don’t like it, but you seem act as if it is a jumble of notes. So, how are these albums “musically” bad? Tom has very good vocals, the the piano, drums and synthesizers are completely balanced, I just don’t see the flaw in their music that you seem to hear.
Now if this is only your opinion, ok, I understand that perfectly. But if there is a musical flaw you see in their music, then I’d like to know.
Now, one thing I’d like to address, you said something about disparaging in the future of music, or something.
Now, I don’t think I can change your mind about disliking certain music, but I really would ask if you wouldn’t be like that.
First, it really makes you sound like some old fart. Sorry, but that’s the truth.
Second, there are laws of music, and styles of music that will not personally appeal to everyone, just because you don’t like something, doesn’t mean it is musically awful. E.G. I am not a big fan of country, or the majority of pop music, but are they musically of poor quality, not necessarily.
Some of the comments here are very well written and very well said. I’m relieved the comments aren’t something like
“OMGA{WQG(H{HWG{QPQHWIGIPG U NOOB U BICH MOTHER FACKER” well, only some.
You can hate Keane and Coldplay all you like, nobody’s gonna stop you. We’re free to have our own opinions. Heck when I was small I COULD NOT it when my mother put on Coldplay. I’d cringe and run away from the radio because I thought his voice was brainwrecking. I still do, but in a way, it’s beautiful (pisses me off though). I “hated” the band when I was young and well, childish, but now, I don’t hate them at all. Yes, I find the singer’s voice annoying, and no I don’t listen to them often, but the lyrics, the beat, it’s all amazing. I guess I didn’t realize it when I was 8 and 9, but music is not about the voice only. The beauty of the beat and lyrics in their songs was fantastic and more impressive then in songs, sung by singers with “pretty voices”. It took me a while to realize they do not suck, but I guess i’ve grown up.
As for you? You’re probably much older then me, i’ve just turned 16 a month ago or so but honestly? Commenting on where the name comes from? Saying it’s un-rock-n-roll? What in the name of music is un-rock-n-roll? Since WHEN does your name have to be in a certain category or about something to be Rock? Stop putting labels on things that shouldn’t have labels on. It’s a freaking name.
And lol, you think saying un-rock-n-roll makes you rock-n-roll-ish? Haha, um, No.
Did what I just say make sense? No. Good. Neither did you.
Commenting on the dudes name? Omg just read above.. it’s.. a.. freaking.. name. It’s probably not his fault he’s called that, and a NAME has NOTHING to do with how much talent the man has. Nothing. Nothing. Did I say nothing?
Let me quote, one of the most ridiculous comments about a band i’ve ever seen in my short life (apart from the ones stated above. As a matter of fact, all your witty comments were ridiculous -sigh) “the other one has a face like melted cheese (a fact that is being noticed by more and more people, I might add)”
Melted Cheese? A face like Melted Cheese? Are you referring to the fact his cheeks are edible, and yellow/orangy, and taste salty and cheesy, and are made of bacteria or yeast or whatever the hell cheese is made of, and milk? I don’t think so.
How is a face “like” melted cheese? You know, I’m starting to think, perhaps, you’re actually younger then me. Say, 10? Cause honestly, even when I was 10, 9, 8 and 7, I did not say people have faces like “melted cheese” It’s absurd. Care to show us a picture of your oh-so-awesome-and-better-then-everyone-else face, so we can bash you with comments and tell you, you have a nose like a pear and a mouth like a loaf of bread? No, so shut your mouth.
As for the other losers noticing “this”, I advise them, and you, to find something better to do with your lives then comparing peoples face with melted cheese. Surely you have some kind of talent? No? Well bashing peoples talent isn’t a talent sorry. It’s a way to make yourself feel better for being talentless. You could have SAID you hate how the leader looks like this and that, but not include it as a reason why they should be hated and why they’re your enemies (funny, they don’t even freaking know you, how are they your enemies?)
“Reinforced messages of disgust for Keane welcome” How about we change “Keane” to whatever you’re called. I see one or two idiots moaning about his “melted-cheese face” and the rest, are all disgusted at you
Ironic much.
“as if we needed another reason to hate the sniveling little private school boys.” Does it matter if they;re private school boys? Would you ever stop categorizing people under stupid labels you and idiots like yourself make up? Little? They don’t look little to me, how old are they..? In their 20s-30s I’m guessing? That’s not little “mate”
You’re rude, and despiteful. You shouldn’t rant about how bad someone’s name is, or judge people’s talent by their looks, it’s wrong and pointless, and IF (fat chance but we’ll see) you ever become famous, and you happen to come across some mean comments saying you’re talentless and ugly and have a stupid name, then we’ll see how you feel. But then again, I doubt famous people even bother hating stupid hate comments coming from talentless idiots like you and like many other people out there. There’s a difference between expressing your opinion and bashing people. You’re doing both. So am I. But at least, I’m defending someone who has talent and deserves to be appreciated, and fighting against someone who, up until now, hasn’t showed the world or us, what “talents” you have, or if you have any as a matter of fact. And you? You’re bashing 3 young men, who are full of talent and opportunities, just because their style, face, band name and songs don’t appeal to you. Don’t say bad things about their talent, because trust me, they DO have talent. Heck talent is spilling from them. If it’s not the kind of talent that appeals to you, then fine, bitch about the lyrics, and the voice, and the song, and whatever else, but leave their face, backgrounds, childhood, and name out of it, because that probably has nothing to do with “why” their music doesn’t appeal to you. I’m not a fan of Coldplay, but I appreciate the lyrics, the song, and I KNOW they have talent. Probably more talent then we all think they do. I wasn’t a huge fan of Michael Jackson’s face, actually I used to think it was a “great Halloween mask” but that did not stop me from loving his dance moves, his personality, his music, his passion for what he did. And it didn’t stop me from thinking he was pretty hot before he got the surgery, and that just because he didn’t look good, it didn’t mean he wasn’t still the same person he used to be. And when he died, I was sad to see such a talented man, who had so much more to offer us being stolen from us, from himself, so young.
Stop hating and start appreciating peoples talent, considering you’re probably lacking that. Or maybe you have loads of talent to offer the world too, but you’re too busy bitching and hating on peoples talent to even notice your own.
Either way, don’t make up excuses and stupid silly labels to hate on a band. Hate their songs all you like, but don’t look for more things to encourage people to hate them, and label them as “talentless” because they aren’t.
i from colombia i like very much the group keane.
i love the everybody chainging song
i live in barranquilla, i did listen very much these song
i love you
i apologize for the letter
kisses bye